Top 10 ways to get your paper rejected at #CAGJournal

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    12-May-2015

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How to get your paper published at the Computers and Graphics Journal (NOT!). Tongue in Cheek presentation for Elsevier writers' workshop

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1.Computers & Graphics University of Toronto April 30 2014 Top 10 ways to get your paper rejected 2. Joaquim Jorge EiC Computers and Graphics Journal Head of Group Visualization and Multimodal Interfaces @ INESC-ID Lisboa http://web.ist.utl.pt/jorgej Research Interests: Calligraphic Interaction, Multimodal Interfaces, Graphical Modeling 3. Writing is Important GREAT ideas not enough Need to Communicate them 4. What I know about good writing 5. What I know about bad writing Author papers rejected due to bad writing Reviewer many bad papers (1000+) Editor handled 1500+ as EiC 6. The Journal in 2013 Published since 1975 EiC since 2007 Experience to share 7. Lots of Submissions 698 8. Quick Decisions 5 Weeks 9. Reject Lots of Papers 82% 10. Scientists MUST Write Great ideas are worthless if nobody can understand them 11. Top 10 Ways to Get Your Paper Rejected Make Editors life easier! 12. Desk Rejects make us look good Less Reviewers invited Shorter response time Higher rejection rate Happier reviewers 13. DO NOT READ THE INSTRUCTIONS TO AUTHORS 10 www.flickr.com/photos/foxypar4 14. Content Pattern Recognition Robotic Motion Controllers Graph Theory Algorithms for Neural Networks Control Theory Desk Reject 15. Ignore the style instructions Author names (CAG is double-blind) Old-style manuscripts Reviewers in Graphics are picky Check requirements 16. DO NOT CHECK FOR GRAMMAR OR SPELLING 9 www.flickr.com/photos/jasoneppink/ 17. Sloppy! Tehre is rseraceh taht sohws grammer or bad spllenig are not iapomrtnt Tihs is bseauce the hamun mnid cmnepstoaes 18. Sloppy writing why bother ? Reviewers turned off It is not their responsibility to get it right 19. PROVIDE NO MOTIVATION 8 flickr.com/photos/ladydragonflyherworld 20. NO MOTIVATION Present your results Out of the Blue Sky Provide No Hints To Origin of your ideas Direction Relevance Practical Application Why you are submitting 21. NO BACKGROUND Remove Acknowledgements / References Or, IF You Must Submitted In Preparation Private Communication Well known results published in Aramaic 22. PROVIDE NO RESULTS 7 flickr.com/photos/31031835@N0 23. NO RESULTS If you provide no results it will be impossible to duplicate your work Thus your assertions cannot be disproved 24. Ignore the state of the art Do not compare your work to others Who cares if Obscurovich et al [uncit] did the same 2 years ago ? Saves a LOT of work (NOT!) 25. Unsubstantiated Conclusions Do not overreach Do your data support your claims ? Can you really claim your approach is free of limitations or shortcomings ? 26. Can you provide Code ? Examples ? Video ? 27. Overstated Claims Overselling a problem akin to lack of results Will get your paper rejected Truth in advertising 28. IGNORE THE READER 6 flickr.com/photos/derricksphotos 29. Audience knows as much as you You know your contribution So they know you dont need to write it! 30. Audience knows as much as you If you could do the research so should they (theyre experts, right?) No need for details! 31. Write for yourself Write a descriptive paper We did this, we did that, and we did that other thing A dump of your lab book Will Do Fine 32. The 4 Donts Dont discuss tradeoffs / alternatives comment results give insights provide take-home messages 33. WASTE SPACE WITH IRRELEVANT DETAILS 5 flickr.com/photos/dphiffer 34. Small Details Are Important! Spent 9 weeks optimizing two lines of code? The world needs to know about it! Who cares about big ideas? Real Authors If it was difficult to write 35. Why describe your work ? Hamiltons quaternions are only 170 years old Nobody knows about them, right ? Dedicate at least two pages to explain in detail journal papers are the stuff of textbooks, right ? 36. OBFUSCATE YOUR WRITING 4 flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet 37. Adopt a rambling style Focus ? What focus ? Provide at least 7 +- 2 ideas per page Digress Treat reviewers like mushrooms 38. OBFUSCATE Use the Passive Voice. Always. LOTS of acronyms Change notations: () instead of f(x) Preferably mid-paper 39. OBFUSCATE No sentence smaller than a paragraph No paragraphs! Gender, Subject and Number should not agree Use Footnotes Recurse 40. RESUBMIT YOUR REJECTED PAPER WITH NO CHANGES 3 flickr.com/photos/calliope 41. Resubmit AS IS Do NOT make any changes to the rejected version Unlikely that the Associate Editor or Reviewers will be the same If they were, they would be POD 42. Resubmit as IS Personally OffendeD! No kidding (I wish I could show) 43. The 3Rs Reduce get rejected in NO TIME (thanks!) Reuse receive the Same Reviews Recycle and Rejection Slip! 44. 2PLAGIARIZE flickr.com/photos/29233640@N07 45. Need a previous work section? Just copy somebody elses! Or your owns ! Reuse, Recycle, Resubmit! (see previous slide) 46. RRR Those people are The Specialists, Unlikely to check, read or review your paper. Right ? 47. Plagiarize Submit the same paper to different journals and conferences at the same time 48. CONTRIBUTION ? 49. Who needs a contribution ? Make sure you write a boring paper Do not bother to identify novelty YAP (Yet Another Paper on) Do something similar to X 50. Suggestions (new problems!) 255th paper on Hidden Line Removal 2D Boolean polygon intersection -1 equality test / point Optimize 60s Bresenhams DDA algorithm -1 integer product Quaternion-Free 3D Arbitrary Rotation 51. The Ten Commandments 10 Do Not read instructions 9 Do Not Proofread 8 Give no Motivation 7 Provide no Results 6 Ignore the Readers 5 Dwell on Unnecessary Details 4 Obfuscate Writing 3 Resubmit As Is 2 Plagiarize 1 Provide no Contribution 52. How to write a better paper Begin with the end in mind Write the paper before carrying out the research Write desired research outcomes before carrying out the experiments / coding Focus early on the contribution 53. Useful Pointers How to have your abstract rejected by van Leunen & Lipton www.sigsoft.org/conferences/vanLeunenLipton.htm How to Get Your SIGGRAPH Paper Rejected by Jim Kajiya www.siggraph.org/publications/kajiya.pdf How to Write a Paper by Ralph Martin www.itn-insist.com/uploads/media/HowToWriteAPaper.pdf How to Run a Paper Mill by John Woodwark www.johnwoodwark.com/inge/docs/Pmill.pdf